These past couple of weeks I haven't written much about Emily. She is doing great and is keeping us very busy. The week that Rachel was in the hospital she was passed around from family member to family member. Michael and I managed to spend some time with her here and there but overall she wasn't able to be with us. She did spend some time at the hospital and got to see Rachel but I don't think it registered to her that it was Rach because she was sedated at the time. It's a blessing that Em doesn't know what's going on but I do wish she was going to be able to remember her sister from her own memories. We got a portrait of Rachel as a gift at the funeral and she will talk to it from time to time so we think she still recognizes her. I don't know how long she'll do that. She wanders around like she's lonely. She's been clingy and wants my attention all day.
She has been getting lots of cousin time which helps with the loneliness, for me too. We've been spending a lot of time with Cade & Callie and they help us so much. Callie has decided that I'm one of her favorite people so she always wants to talk to and be with "Mayme". I think she knows I need her!
For the most part, Emily is a happy 11 month who is content to run, play, and explore. This has been a huge blessing for us because it keeps us busy! She has decided that she can yell at us now. She yells in gibberish and waves her finger at us when she's trying to make a point. We try to teach her not to yell but mostly we just laugh at her because it's soo cute! :) She also loves to eat which is refreshing after having a kid with a feeding tube! I'm still trying to get used to just having a normal child and eating is still a constant worry so I'm glad she likes to do it.
Now that we just have Emily, it is a bigger adjustment than we thought it would be to just be "normal". I was used to at least 5 appointments a week and now we have none. Emily and I have to find random things to get done around town and at the house to occupy our time. I imagine it will get easier as time goes by. Emily should have been named Hope because she gives us so much of it. In a time when we're feeling pretty sad, she manages to keep us smiling and laughing all day long. What a gift from someone so small! I am thankful that we have her because she brightens our days.
amy this made me sad to read. I feel so sad for Emily too. Even though she is little I know she must miss Rachel and she knows too that mommy is sad. I lost a brother when I was Emily's age and I have always been sad that I didn't know him. christa
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